Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
