Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
