I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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