i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
