I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
