; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
