no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
two words...techno handjob
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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