She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
