BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
