I understand Curling. That high.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
