You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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