Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
