there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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