some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
