So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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