why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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