I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
