I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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