I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
