Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
