first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
