Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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