Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
