So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
