Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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