you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
