sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
