literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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