vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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