Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
