YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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