Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Michael Bay diarrhea
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
