so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
