If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry about my life...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
