Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
