I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
