wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
