Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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