I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
