once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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