You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
