Kiss
Puke
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize