Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
