Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
