you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
FUCK WHALES
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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