Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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