We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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