i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
