I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
