we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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